Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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