dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
