You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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