how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My dick has a subreddit
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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