Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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