I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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