How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize