i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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