I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
