soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
