oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my shit smells like andre
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
