we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
