Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
These tits shall not be calmed
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
