i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
