hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
