is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
PANTIES FOUND
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