adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
