i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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