I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
