I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
