Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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