the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
