Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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