If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
