talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
