So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
