a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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