...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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