Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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