where am i from again
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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