Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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