TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
