Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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