Me too!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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