I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
