Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
