You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
