from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
