so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
