I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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