i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
