yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Say something about gay babies.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
