You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
