these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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