This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I love having hate sex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
