Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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