Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
