i think i have herpe
just one?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
