So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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