I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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