i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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