dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize