so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
