It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
