Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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