During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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