The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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