so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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