the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
