I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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