Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
